Everything
by Renton
Summary: HBP Spoilers! It's the first full moon since the events of HBP. Remus is looking at facing his first full moon without the Wolfsbane potion. It proves to be the ultimate test for Remus and Tonks, will the full moon make or break their relationship?
1. Chapter 1

Everything

By Renton

Disclaimer: You know who owns Remus and Tonks, I don't need to spell that out. Everything is by Alanis Morisette. No copyright infringement is intended on either part.

Summary: Without Snape or Dumbledore to get the Wolfsbane potion from, Remus is not looking forward to the next full moon more so than usual. Also to complicate matters is the fact that for the first time in a long time Remus had someone else in his life he was concerned about. HBP Spoilers! RL/NT

Author's Note: If you know me or have spoken to me you know Lupin and Tonks are two of my most favorite characters out of Harry Potter. So obviously I shrieked with glee when I read that wonderful passage in HBP. This is my first shot at writing these two together, so please give me some feedback. :)

Rating: PG-13

_One_

"Who, being loved, is poor?" - Oscar Wilde

"Remus?"

"Hmm?"

"It's about a week to the next full moon, shouldn't you..." Tonks fidgeted with the hem of her Weird Sisters t-shirt as she sat next to Remus on the Weasley's sofa that was put in front of the roaring fire. Both her and Remus had been invited to the Burrow for dinner that night and the after dinner conversations had drawn out much longer than had anticipated so Molly kindly invited them to stay the night since Tonks lived in London and Remus near Hogsmeade. She knew that the Wolfsbane potion that Remus took to control his lycanthropy needed to be taken a week before the full moon in order to work. She knew that Sn...Snape used to make it for him since the snake was part of the Order. But with him obviously not a part of the Order anymore and Dumbledore gone, Tonks wondered if Lupin could get the potion himself? But the longer the akward silence grew between the couple Tonks became aware very quickly that Lupin did not take the potion. "But Remus you need the potion, you shouldn't go without it."

Remus felt his skin begin to flush as his annoyance with Tonks tried to rise. He fought it off though, knowing Tonks only meant the best by her comment and she wasn't trying to chastize him for not taking the potion. "Dora, I have to go without it..."

"Why?"

"Do you not know how expensive that bloody potion is?" Remus asked a bit harshly, which was not his intent. Looking out of the corner of his eye he saw Tonks biting her lip and turning away from him. Sighing he shifted his weight on the couch to face her and turned her face back to him and said in a softer voice, "the only reason why I was able to take that potion was because Severus was brilliant enough to make the difficult potion and Dumbledore was more than willing to foot the bill for the supplies. I cannot afford such a potion, so I'm on my own this next full moon."

"Remus you're not alone..."

"You know what I mean Dora," Remus said and Tonks frowned and brought her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. He had noticed that during the month they had been together Tonks was no longer trying to correct him for calling her by her first name. Lupin gave her the nickname of Dora because he knew that she didn't like being called by her first name but he didn't feel right calling his girlfriend by her last name.

"Remus you should've told me, I...I could've got the potion for you." Tonks said softly, he was right, she didn't know how much the potion cost but material worth was nothing to her if it meant that Remus wouldn't hurt himself during the full moon. "I would've found a way to get it for you."

"I don't ask for handouts," Remus said, "you should know me well enough by now to know that much."

"Even if it could bloody save your life!" Tonks snapped and looked at Remus with her deep blue eyes that had a mixture of pain and grief in them. Shaking her head Tonks stood and smoothed out her t-shirt and her violet hair, "Remus I know we've been only dating a month but you need to understand its no longer just about you. I love you Remus, I love you so much but if you're going to continue being so selfish and only thinking about your pride I cannot continue this." Turning away Tonks added, "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

Remus sat on the couch a bit taken aback by Tonk's emotional outburst. Not because he was hurt or upset at her for saying that, but because it was the truth. For years, more than he wished to remember, it had only been about him. If he had died during those lonely years, no one would've cared. His parents died years ago and maybe at that point in his life the only person who'd show up to a funeral would've been Dumbledore. But now that has all changed, now he had Tonks, he had Dora. True, there was still a part of him screaming that his was wrong, that he was too old, too dangerous and too poor for someone as breathtakingly beautiful and kind as her. She was very wise as well, she was just, for a lack of a better term, perfect in every way. Yeah she was clumsy, but that only added to her personality. Sighing Remus looked up to the ceiling when he heard a door to one of the bedrooms shut. Remus needed to fix this, he needed to fix this now. Standing from the couch Remus tried to go up the stairs without making too much of a racket.

As he ascended the stairs he bumped into Fleur, "Fleur, what are you doing awake at this hour?"

"Bill, 'e needed some water," Fleur looked at Remus and asked, "you and Zonks, 'ad an argument?" Remus nodded and Fleur pushed her hair back behind her shoulder, "she came up 'ere looking very upset. Wouldn't say why."

"I was being a fool, I need to go apologize to her."

"Well I will not keep you," Fleur went down the staircase as Remus walked down to the end of the hall and quietly opened the door to the room that Tonks and himself were sharing. He peaked his head in before he continued inside, she was laying down on the bed but was not asleep. Tonks' eyes made contact with his and she rolled over and looked away from him.

"Dora?" Remus closed the gap between the two of them and sat on the edge of the bed watching her try her best to ignore him. Placing one of his large hands on her leg he whispered, "Tonks."

Tonks looked up at him and he noticed the tear stained that went down her cheeks. Sitting up she pulled her leg away from Remus' hand and crossed both under her, remaining perfectly silent as she did. She wouldn't say a word, he needed to apologize, and she wouldn't interrupt him.

"Tonks, what you said down there about me was the truth, every single word of it. I was only thinking of myself, of my _pride_, as you said. But I cannot apologize for my nature, for so many years it has only been about me. I had no one Dora, I had no friends or family. James and Lily were dead, Sirius was in Azkaban and Peter was presumed dead as well. After what transpired there I shut myself off from the rest of the world. Who was going to stop me from doing so? My friends, my _family,_ were all gone. If I had died during those years on my own there would be no one to mourn me." Scooting closer to her Remus took one of her hands and began tracing circles on the top of her hand with his thumb. "But now I have you Dora, now I have you in my life and for the first time in a long time I am at a complete loss. I'm...I'm actually quite terrified of turning next week, because...I know what it put James, Lily and Sirius through to see their friend change into a monster. I cannot imagine what it'll be like for you to witness it. I didn't tell you about the Wolfsbane because I thought maybe if it wasn't brought up, maybe you wouldn't ask about it. I'm flattered that you would offer to buy something like that for me but I could not ask you to spend that much on me. Not because of pride Dora, but because I don't want our relationship to be only about who can afford the potion that month; or better yet, who can actually make it? I apologize for hurting you Dora, I never meant to make you cry."

Remus had just laid his heart out to Tonks there on the bed, and she was surprised by how open he had just been. He had told her honestly how he felt, why he felt the way he did and admitted that he cared about her. Crawling over to him Tonks wrapped her arms around his neck and she could feel him bury his head into her shoulder, kissing the top of his head Tonks whispered softly to him, "you're forgiven love. I think both of our problems is that we care too much about the other."

Pulling himself up he smiled and ran his hand down the side of her face, "if that is our only problem I really think we're going to be okay."

She smiled and yawned, "I'm wiped out, lets get to bed." Tonks got under the covers first and Remus climbed in behind her. They both laid on their side and Remus rested an arm over her torso and he felt her hand slip into his and she brought it to her chest. Just before they both fell asleep Tonks whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2 : Her Favorite Flower

A/N: I am so happy you guys are liking this. I changed the rating to an M because I'm not sure exactly where this will go, so I just wanted to be safe with it. :)

Chapter Two

"_Love always brings difficulties, that is true, but the good side of it is that it gives energy."_

Vincent van Gogh

The sun began to creep through the small bedroom of which Remus and Tonks shared during their stay at The Burrow. Remus was the first to wake from the warmth of the sun beginning to fill the room; looking at the back of Tonks' head he felt that his hand was still tightly held in her own. Slipping his hand out of hers he sat up as gently as he could as to not to disturb her. Crawling over her Remus tiptoed out of the room and shut the door behind him, as he descended the stairs he could hear that there weren't too many people up yet. As he looked around downstairs he saw movement in the garden outside, stepping out the front door he saw that Molly was tending to her garden. "Good Morning Molly," Molly jumped at the unexpected voice and Remus tried to suppress a laugh. "You are certainly getting to work early."

"Well I thought I would pick some vegetables for Tonks before you guys leave." Molly said, "what are you doing up so early Remus? Is Tonks still asleep?"

"Yes she is asleep, I was hoping to come out here and maybe find something for her."

Molly arched an eyebrow at Remus and asked, "what did you have in mind?" Remus shrugged and Molly prodded a bit further, "would this have to do with the arguing I heard downstairs last night?" Molly laughed as a look came across his face that resembled the same look her boys got when she caught them doing something they shouldn't be doing. "Its okay Remus, you're human, and humans tend to argue with each other from time to time." Standing up from where she had been squatting down in her garden she looked around and said, "maybe some flowers are in order? Which are her favorite?"

Remus could feel his heart drop into his stomach, "I...uhm...don't know that yet."

"Oh that's okay I'm sure we can find something." Molly walked out of her vegetable garden and Remus quickly followed in tow as she examined her flowers, "I don't think Tonks is a rose type of girl. They're too ordinary."

"She's definitely not ordinary," Remus said softly, thinking he had said it to himself. But when Molly turned and smiled at him, Remus had the good graces to turn a violent shade of red.

"Remus dear don't be so embarrassed about showing your feelings," Molly said as they walked along the garden wall. "I think its wonderful that you two finally got together, I'm very happy for the both of you."

Remus fell silent as he followed Molly around the garden, a brilliant flash of pink caught him in the corner of his eye. Stopping he turned back and Remus saw the biggest daisies he had ever seen; and they were the most brilliant shade of violet.

The color of Tonks' hair.

"Molly what about those?" Molly turned to look at the flowers that Remus had discovered, "may I pick a couple of those?" Smiling Molly pulled out a pair of clippers and snipped off two of the long stemmed Gerber daises and handed them to Remus. "Thanks."

As Remus went back to the house Molly called out, "I'll be starting breakfast soon Remus! I hope that you and Tonks will at least stay for breakfast!" Remus turned around and nodded yes.

Tonks was curled up in the covers when she felt something tickling her nose. She wiped at her nose and the tickling stopped, as she pulled the covers tighter around her something started tickling her nose again. Opening her eyes she saw a flower being held in front of her face, "good morning Dora." The daisy was pulled away from her face and she saw Remus kneeling next to the bed, holding the two daisies up he stated, "they match your hair."

"Are they for me?" Remus nodded and Tonks sat up in the bed and took them from him, "they're beautiful!"

"Not as beautiful as you..." Remus ran a finger across Tonk's jaw line and she turned bright red at his compliment. Laying the two daisies on the dresser next to the bed Remus climbed up in the bed with her and she climbed up into his lap and put her arms around his neck. He could feel her breath warming the tip of his nose as she held her face close to his own.

Tonks lifted her head and kissed the tip of his nose gently and then his lips, "thank you." Remus brought his own arms up around her and kissed her deeply as they sat there. He felt Tonks' tongue graze his bottom lip and he relaxed his jaw as she delved into his mouth. Turning her in his lap Remus laid her back down on the bed and began planting kisses up and down her face and neck. "I love you," Tonks whispered into Remus' ear.

"I love you too." Remus said as he smoothed out her short violet hair, "so much." As he went in to give her another kiss when a loud voice interrupted them.

"REMUS! TONKS! BREAKFAST!" Tonks gave out a laugh and Remus rolled over and sighed.

"Well, that blew the moment." Tonks said wryly and Remus let out a laugh.

"Yea but, it's breakfast!" Remus crawled over Tonks and went to the door. "You coming?"

"Yeah give me a minute." Tonks smiled at him, "save me a biscuit." Remus gave her a quick smile and walked out. Tonks climbed out of the bed and went over to the wall mirror, checking her clothes. As she fixed her clothes Tonks grew her hair out some and pulled a hair tie out of her jean pocket and tied her hair up in a pony tail. Taking one of the Gerber daises Remus had picked for her she snapped off the stem with her fingers and put the flower in her hair. Noticing the flower was a shade darker than her hair she made sure her hair matched the flower's color. She smiled to herself, thinking about Remus getting up to pick her flowers.

But what he didn't know was that Gerber daises were her favorite type of flower.


	3. Chapter 3 : Dinner

Chapter Three

"_Most people have a harder time letting themselves love than finding someone to love them."_

_Bill Russell_

After a delightful breakfast with the Weasley family Remus and Tonks said their good-byes and walked down the path away from the Burrow hand in hand. As they walked along the country road they were very quiet. Occasionally stealing glances at each other they walked until they were at a clearing, letting go of her hand Remus turned to her and asked, "you work today?" Tonks shook her head no and Remus nodded, "well I need to run some things to Kingsley at the Ministry for the Order. Would you care to meet up later?"

"Course," Tonks said as Remus took her hand again and kissed it gently, "why don't you come by my flat bout six and I'll have some supper ready for us." Remus gave her a small smirk and he pulled her in for a kiss. Running a hand through his greying hair she pulled back and added, "I promise I won't burn it all." Remus laughed and took two big steps away from her. "Say hello to Kingsley for me." He gave her a wink and apparated into thin air, and Tonks quickly followed back to her flat.

"So how is Tonks? You guys still an item?" Kingsley Shacklebolt asked kicked back in his desk chair talking to Remus who was leaning up against Kingsley's desk. Remus turned and looked away not saying anything and Kingsley arched one of his eyebrows, "what's wrong Remus? You two have a row? Have you thrown in the towel already?"

"No well we're still dating, but I'm so...oh I don't know." Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and looked to the floor, "she can do so much better than me Kingsley. She's young. She's pretty and she could easily have any man that is her age. I just don't get why she want's me..."

"What you don't want her?"

"Of course I do Kingsley!" Remus looked at the tall black man. "I've wanted her for ages! But I don't deserve her, she deserves someone less..."

"Old? Less dangerous? Less poor?" Kingsley asked, already knowing what Remus' ridiculous excuse was for him and Tonks not dating. "Remus you seriously have to lighten up on yourself. You are a good man, yea so you turn into a werewolf once a month. Big deal. So Tonks not only gets a boyfriend, she gets a dog too." Remus shot him a glare and Kingsley laughed, "I'm joking Remus. She's crazy about you, regardless of what you are..."

"And that is what worries me." Remus said wringing his hands. "If I ever hurt her when I was..."

"Remus, you can't think that way." Kingsley cut him off, "yea that will always be a worry. But you're forgetting one thing mate, she's a trained Auror. The girl can take care of herself, you really don't need to worry about her. I mean you should care about her, but you shouldn't treat her like some kid you need to protect."

"I'm just scared I think," Remus said, "it's been so long since I've been in love; or more specifically had someone who was in love with me." Kingsley smiled as Remus checked his watch, "I better go, she's cooking dinner for me. I'm supposed to be over there at six." Picking up his coat Remus added, "the reports go up to Dumbledore's death, from my undercover work."

"I'm sure it'll be of great help Remus, thanks. If I need any other information I'll let you know."

Tonks was very pleased with herself, she was down to finishing the side dishes and failed to burn anything. Not that she was a bad cook, but she did unfortunately have a bad habit of burning things. Turning off the stove she raced to her bedroom throwing on a nice black turtleneck sweater over the camisole she had been wearing and checked her hair. Her hair was still the hue of purple that the daisy that Remus had given her that morning. She pulled the sides up and pinned them up; taking her lavender body spray she squirted herself a couple of times. Smiling she thought of how Remus smells her hair when he hugs her, she knows he probably thinks she doesn't notice it; but there wasn't anything that Remus did that Tonks didn't take notice of.

A knock at the door made Tonks jump. Checking herself one last time in the mirror she ran to the front door; almost tripping over her couch while doing so. She opened the door and saw Remus standing there. "Hey," She reached out and grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into her flat. Giving him a quick kiss she smiled, "you'd better be proud of me. Got through the entire meal without burning a thing!"

"We'll have to mark this occasion on the calendar." Remus smirked as Tonks playfully hit him in the chest. Taking off his coat she grabbed it from him and laid it on the arm of the couch. Looking around the small flat he raised an eyebrow. "Dora where are we going to eat?"

"Huh?"

"You have no table." Tonks didn't have a table and she shrugged.

"Couch is good of a place as any." Tonks laughed, "Don't worry so much, sit and I'll bring out a plate." Sitting down on the couch Remus took stock of Dora's flat. It was an incredibly warm and inviting place. Earth tones and such, but as Dora walked back into the room with two large plates of food he thought to himself. The paint job isn't why this place is so inviting, it's the company. "Why do people always think they need to stuff me with food whenever I enter their home?" Remus remarked as she sat the big plate of food in front of him.

"Oh I don't know, could the twenty hole belt be an indication?" Tonks jokingly tugged on his belt. Tucking her legs under herself she added, "and besides, is it a crime I want to cook a big meal for my man?" Tonks smiled as Remus flushed at being called, "her man." "What? Want me to call you something else? How bout "sweetie," or "baby-cakes?"

Remus laughed and took a bite of food, "I'll stick with "man," thank you." Tonks smiled as he ate, as he devoured his food he finally noticed that she was not touching hers. Looking up Remus raised an eyebrow, "you okay Dora? You aren't eating."

"I was just enjoying watching you eat." Tonks said, flushing madly at getting caught; stuffing a large amount of food into her mouth. Remus laughed and leaned in to give her a small kiss in the crux of her neck. Nudging him off of her she laughed, "Remus this is the only time I know you actually get a somewhat decent meal into your system. Eat the food, not my neck."

Remus pulled away and continued eating his food. As they both finished Remus took Dora's plate and took them to the kitchen for her. She followed him and as she tried to do the dishes herself he playfully smacked her hand away from the water. "You were kind enough to cook for me so let me do you a favor and clean for you." Dora smiled and hoisted herself up onto the counter and watched him intently as he cleaned the dirty dishes in her sink. He looked tired, more so than he usually did. As he scrubbed one of the pots a bit of soap hit his cheek and she gently wiped it away with her fingers. "Thank you." He said as he dried the last dish. Turning around he leaned back on the counter and said, "well I should probably go."

Taking his hand Tonks pulled him towards her. Placing him in front of her she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and whispered, "stay with me Remus." Kissing his cheek she added, "stay with me tonight, please."

"Dora I'm really not. . ."

"Oh bugger off Remus I wasn't asking you to shag me. I was just requesting that my boyfriend stay here tonight so I actually know where he is and know he is safe." Tonks knew that Remus was only trying to deny her invitation because he was still uncomfortable with the fact they were an actual item. Kissing his forehead, Tonks stroked both of his cheeks, "I just don't want to be alone tonight." Lowering his head in defeat Remus wrapped his arms around her slender waist, resting his head on her shoulder and let out a deep sigh. Tonks let out a giggle and asked, "you okay?"

"I just don't know what I did to deserve you." Remus said quietly. "You could have any man you want, how on earth did you decide on me."

Tonks nudged his head off of her shoulder and looked him in the eye, "that is my little secret. I just suggest you nod your head and go with it." Remus smiled and leaned in and gave her a kiss on the lips. Licking Remus' upper lip, Tonks pushed her tongue past his lips and he loosened his jaw and allowed her to explore his mouth. Reaching behind her, Remus ran his hands up her back and held her like that for what seemed to be an eternity. When they finally pulled away Remus gave a small laugh and Tonks raised an eyebrow, "what?"

"I guess you are right about this Dora. Ignorance is truly bliss." Tonks laughed as Remus pulled her off the counter and guided her to the bedroom.


End file.
